note to self

Lunch Buddy - m4w (Bloomington)

Someone to share my secrets - w4m pic 

Female legs (Bloomington) talent gigs

Looking to recieve a massage (Bloomington) talent gigs

Introductory Chemistry $50 (nineveh ) pic books & magazines - by owner 

NEED 2 BDRM !!!! (Monroe cty) housing wanted 

14K YG Band 1 Carat Round DIAMOND Solitaire Ring Sz 7 APPRAISED 14K $8000 (Bloomington) pic jewelry - by owner 

jewelry set ring and band $6950 pic jewelry - by dealer 

Stunning Ladies blue & white diamond ring NWT $450 (Bloomington) pic jewelry - by owner 

DOG CAGE (BLOOMINGTON ) pets 

dsm How to let her know < druesport > 03/18 15:39  
      : . . Pack your bags… < AirFilter > 03/18 15:46  

A FEAST FOR CROWS $45 (BLOOMINGTON) cds / dvds / vhs - by owner

broken heart (foreveraloneland) 

dal stay friends.. dont get married § < bezcarefulz > 03/18 17:50  

: . . Do you have kids with her? § < skinnydog > 03/18 15:49 

Marriage is bullshit… 

Wedding Dress $1000 (Mitchell/Bedford/Bloomington) pic jewelry - by owner 

Babysitter Available! :) (Mitchell/Bedford) 

2 mountain bikes $150 (Spencer, IN) map bicycles - by owner 

Tandem Therapeutic Massage  (Louisville)

I Still Love You - m4w 26 

I still love you - w4m 23 

Milk bottles $25 (ellettsville) pic collectibles - by owner 

Upon chapped lips cold lies and loves lament

and whispers crack me, cut me, bleed me dry. 

Wind blowing smoke that clouds her cruel intent;

the candied tendrils breathe to fill my high. 

Embrace of tea or fur don’t shivers slow;

from frozen punishment I can’t be saved. 

Had cupid but let arrow quiver know

and chance my foolish heart might have behaved. 

The seed of passion planted on my tongue

has grown to yearn sweet fruit to taste again.

To dance once more your dips and crests among,

another captive of your curse on men. 

If endless warmth and bliss to us be fibbed,

still life without love lost is but half lived. 

“i” am fluid.

that which i was and what i will be are neither what i am now.

but im flowing too fast to define this moment in time

who am i? 

music resonating, bodies gyrating, crowd pulsating,

and im contemplating, ruminating

imagine im illuminating- enlightened?

not even close my friend, simply frightened.

so i shy away, fly away, hide away and get high today

cowardice converting me, hurting me, introverting me

intoxicants masking the confidence lacking

and im the only one asking

who am i?

life gives us a mix of ups and downs. like riding a heartbeat’s crests and valleys. if we lose the ability to experience the highs and the lows that this world has for us, isn’t that the same as flatlining? what is there to life besides emotion- i mean, if you aren’t feeling it, is it even real? 

id take one hell of a valley right now. just as a reminder of what it feels like to feel. a reminder that im still alive. and because then i’d know it possible to feel the inverse of that valley- that a mountain of equal or even perhaps greater magnitude could be just around the bend. 

but whats the inverse of nothing? zero. nothing to look forward to, or to look back on. just riding the flatline. 

july 23, 2012

Regardless of the particular theology to which we have subscribed

heartlessness it blows my mind that we have killed and we have died

for dubious distinctions drawn in the dirt by human hands

are you listening to me, this is your chance to see, to understand

fundamentalist

you make me sick, youre hideous, insidious, riddle me this

the throbbing throngs of sweating souls

filing into church pews

yearning for good news

confused and abused, religion’s what they turn to

and you dont have to believe it to see that this book is wise words

but its been a while and things have changed, and now its time we revised words

so let me summarize

prophetized?

no, this shit is basic brother

do onto others

love one another

did i fucking stutter?